Things Students Write
I’m grading papers for a high school teacher and I’m coming across some stuff that is just too funny to keep to myself. I will share with you. :) These are direct quotes from their papers; I’ve maintained their anonymity. Therefore, there will be grammar and punctuation errors. I have added comments which I’ve italicized.
"a lot of people say [my mom] look mean . . . even though she’s not, I think its just the makeup." Wow! That must be some extreme makeup!
"kids back in her days were wearing some weird stuff like parachute pants and bellbottoms." Those are definitely not the weirdest things from that time.
"He had a great relashinip with her but didn’t like how it was going." It was a great relationship, but going badly??? Interesting.
"He also got to know that His bio dad lifts his bio mom." Does he lift her on a daily basis?
"[My grandpa] is an ant small but strong, he would always help carry the big things . . . " Ants, like your grandpa, typically are very strong and they do carry things which are many times their own weight.
"To see Teja . . . is to first notice her eyes, placed right above the center of her face." Isn’t this a normal spot for eyes to be?
"Teenager who can kill must be way more mature than an average teenager as if they’re an adult." Yea, because killing is totally what determines a person’s maturity.
"The solutions is let your teen experience life but keep the bad things away and harm them." Please, harm your teenagers!
"Teens like to kill people, because they play lots of videogames." Video games are the absolute sole cause of murderous teens, mental instability has nothing to do with it.
"Teens should be having fun, going out to parties not killing people." This is an important lesson teens, don’t kill people, have fun instead.
"Success to Mayra means if you’re out there with a real job not selling yourself for your money then you’re pretty successful." So, as long as you aren’t a prostitute, you are successful.
"The most motivation that she has is to get money save money and then when you need it, it’s going to be right there for you to waste." Save your money so you can waste it, don’t be responsible with it, ever.
So, last night I went to see my brother and a friend perform at a club in Sacramento. When the night was over, I went out to my car to leave only to discover an obscene amount of bird crap all over my car. GROSS!!! I get in my car only to see a dang flyer under my windshield wiper. I get out of my car, grab it, get back in and look at real quick only to discover it was a parking ticket. **sigh** So, I’m pissed at myself for getting a ticket and go ahead and pull out onto the roadway so I can head home. Well, I stop at a red light and look over to see a guy trying to talk to me. I couldn’t understand him so I rolled my window down and he said “headlights!” Aaarrrggghhh!!! I thanked him and I turned on my headlights. I finally get home, park, and then start getting out of my car only to have it start rolling backward. I didn’t put it into 1st gear nor did I set the emergency break (my car is a stick shift). Seriously????
I swear, you’d think I was high or totally blasted, but I was completely sober! This is just my klutzy and silly normal self! haha I hope you got a nice chuckle out of that because I know I sure did, especially now that I’m $47.50 poorer due to my parking violation! :)
Vertical Face Plant
Ok, so I know I haven’t posted in a long time, and unfortunately, I’m going to be posting inconsistently until this summer due to my school and work schedule being so heavy.
It’s also been awhile since I’ve shared one of my typical klutz moments, so here you go:
This last Friday, I had come home and after parking I went to the street to get my garbage and recycling cans back up into my driveway. Well, it was an incredibly windy day so both cans had been knocked over. I first went to the blue recycling can, which is the biggest size available. I picked it up off the ground and began to walk toward the driveway. I turned my head back toward the can and right at that moment the wind caught the lid of the can and it smacked me in the face really hard. So hard, in fact, that my glasses were knocked off my face and had been completely bent out of shape.
Of course, the first thing I did was look around to make sure that no one saw the recycling can attack me; There was no one around to see, at least I didn’t see anyone, but my glasses had been knocked off of my face so if anyone had seen, I probably wouldn’t have been able to tell since I need my glasses to see at a distance.
Now, I have a nice red mark on the side of my face at the bone around my left eye and I have a bruise that is roughly two inches in diameter. Thankfully, the bruise is only noticeable if one knows to look for it. But, ouch!, it sure does hurt pretty bad. :-/
**sigh** It was strange that I hadn’t had a bad injury since the debacle with my toe and the space heater (scroll down for post about the space heater).
But, you know, I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t constantly doing something klutzy and finding random bruises on myself. :) At least it makes for some funny material to share with you!
Get Old and Die
I was getting my daughter into bed when she says to me, “Mommy, when you get old and die, can I have your red and black iPhone cover?” :-/
- My son: Mom, I can't find the Wii remote.
- Me: Well, go clean your room and you'll find it.
- My son: That never works.
- Me: Really now? You think I'm gonna fall for that? lol
Can a Phone Chastize a Person?
My friend sent me this message that she received from her friend. I think it is pretty dang funny, and interesting in regard to our technology.
"Ok this is wierd. I think I just got scolded by my phone!!!! Siri
Well I asked her (Siri) a question and she said ” I don’t understand that. so I asked it again re phrasing the question she replied ” I don’t understand that. I thought I’d give it a try on[e] more time re wording the question she replied ” RONDA, (using my name) I said I don’t understand that question” I go[t] so scared I shut her off right then. LOL This is 100% true!”