My friend’s daughter says that she wants to be a vegetarian. There is a problem with this though. She doesn’t like vegetables! So, she tells her mom, “I’ll be a fruititarian!”
- Sheldon: I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
- Leslie: [sarcastically] Ouch!
I’m walking up the three flights of stairs to my class and trip yet again. There were people behind me again, of course. It seems like there always has to be someone around when I trip.
Considering how often I trip, you’d think I wouldn’t care anymore who was around to see it! lol
Anyway, this time I tripped so badly that I almost fell down the stairs. I bruised the heel of my right hand, and my left shin. Also, my metal water bottle was dented and got a scratch in it. :(
Didn’t I say my life as a klutz made things interesting?!?! lol
Penny is the only one of all the main characters whose last name has not yet been revealed.
Obtained from: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0898266/trivia
- Kitty: Red, you should go talk to him.
- Red: What? Why me?
- Kitty: Well, cuz I don't really know how to mend a broken heart. I've never been dumped! (chuckles).
- Red: Well I don't believe that.
- Kitty: Why not?
- Red: Well there are certain things about you that are annoying. That other people might not have been tolerant of.
- Kitty: You're bald!!
- Red: See! Like that!
Edgar Allan Poe
I’m certain that I’ve posted this one before, but I find it very humorous so I wanted to post it again. :)
So, I have an assignment for my Linguistics course; I am to transcribe (using phonetics) the speech of someone that has a dialect different than my own, but this person must speak American English.
I chose Matthew McConaughey because of his oh-so-yummy southern accent. I figure that since I have to listen to someone talk for one to two minutes, it may as well be someone that has a sexy ass voice AND he’s great to look at!
lol This is one assignment I’m going to really love working on! ;)
I have a class that is on the third floor of one of the buildings on campus. So, I’m walking up the stairs and there are people behind me, of course. Yea, I trip. **sigh**
Ah, my life as a klutz is always full of fun experiences. :)
Fear of Long Words
Obtained from: http://www.selfhelpcollective.com/strange-fears.html
HAHAHAHA can that word be any longer?
I had to go to the court house the other day, and after going to security I had to walk upstairs. There was a guy just ahead of me going upstairs as well.
Well, I, of course, do what is totally typical of me, I trip on the stairs, almost falling into him but I was able to catch myself.
He turns around and asks if I’m alright.
I say “Well, if I hadn’t tripped on these stairs I’d have to wonder who I was.”
Obtained from: http://www.strangefacts.com/laws.html
In Texas, it’s against the law for anyone to have a pair of pliers in his or her possession.
In Philadelphia, you can’t put pretzels in bags based on an Act of 1760.
Alaska law says that you can’t look at a moose from an airplane.
In Corpus Christie, Texas, it is illegal to raise alligators in your home.
In Miami, it is forbidden to imitate an animal.
It is against the law to mispronounce the name of the State of Arkansas in that State.
On FB I saw this advertisement by Coffee-Mate, and of course I clicked on it because I like creamer in my coffee. Well, I’m looking at this new introduction of their “Natural Bliss” line and I’m wondering… are they going to start calling the original creamer “Artificial Crap?”
This last Monday I was running errands before I had to be at work, and after my very last errand my car refused to start.
**sigh** I did not need this; I’ve had enough stress lately without my car adding to it.
Unfortunately, I had to miss work and a three hour class on Monday. I hate missing work, not just because I need the money, but because I was unable to work with the students that count on me being there. I hate missing class because I miss far too much material and it brings down my grade (you all know how nerdy I am when it comes to my grades and school).
Anyway, there were a couple of guys next to me and they jumped my car. I proceeded to exit the parking lot only for my car to die on me again. These same guys helped push my car into a parking space where my car sat while I got help from my brother over the phone.
I had to walk to an auto parts store, Auto Zone on Stabler Lane to be precise, so that I could purchase a battery cleaner to see if it was just the connection that was bad.
I was not to be this lucky.
My car, because it would not run, had to be pushed from the Bel Air shopping center across Stabler and into the Auto Zone parking lot. I disconnected the battery and brought it inside so they could test it. I was hoping that the battery was bad.
I was not to be this lucky.
Since it wasn’t the battery, it had to be the alternator. Because my brother was about an hour away and was at work, this was something I was going to have to figure out on my own. However, the Auto Zone guys were amazing and helped me a lot.
They told me what to do and I did it. However, there was a point in which I needed more than just verbal help and Mark, an employee who was on his lunch break, helped me. I am incredibly grateful for this man’s help, and the fact that he helped on his lunch break was HUGE!
I was able to get the alternator changed out. In the process, I received a “war wound.” My left wrist was hurting pretty badly, was swollen, and my veins were a bit popped out. I have no idea how I hurt my wrist, but I apparently did quite the number on it (are you surprised? lol) Not only that, I had gotten incredibly sweaty and grease was covering my arms and hands. Anyway, now there is a bruise that is about 1 1/2 inches in diameter on my wrist.
After replacing the alternator, my cruise control had stopped working. I popped open the hood and discovered that in the process of working on the alternator, a hose had become disconnected, so I reconnected it. Now, my cruise control works. :)
Even though I love cars, working on them is something that I have never done before. I am proud of myself for doing this and I do plan to purchase (or maybe Santa will get one for me) the repair manual so that I can continue to work on my own car.
When it comes down to it, my car wasn’t running and I had no choice but to miss work and school. I am counting my blessings though and I am incredibly grateful that, although the part was a bit expensive, what was wrong with my car was something that I was able to fix. There is just no way right now that I would be able to purchase a new (used) car so I really need to keep the one I have in good working order.
I can forgive spelling errors made by the general public. But, when it is by a corporation or any other company that should know better, it’s kind of hard to let it go.
This was the “help wanted” sign posted on the door at my local Save Mart. Normally I don’t recommend relying on spell check, but in this case spell check would have underlined this one and it would have been good to rely on it for accuracy. Seriously, this does not leave a good impression.
- Me (my status update on FB): I find it fascinating that I am conversing with a friend via text and simultaneously via fb private messaging. And yes, they are two completely different conversations. Lol
- Angela: How funny! We are sooo weird. LOL
- Me: Lol I know right! Ok so now we are communicating using a third method. Hahaha
- Angela: So now it's three different conversations. Wow, I must say we are talented. Lol
- Me: Lol yup. Shall we continue to speak of out talents? Lol jk
- Me: Our**
- Me: Clearly, checking spelling before I send out a text to fb is not among those talents. hahaha
- Angela: hahahahaha
- Me: :)
- Angela: Well that just shows you are only human. Wouldn't want people getting jealous of you with all this talent and all. not everyone can be as gifted as us you know.
- Me: I know right?!?! I try to make mistakes every so often, you know, to make those less fortunate feel better. But, it's just so hard! I rarely make mistakes, I'm never klutzy, I never trip while going up stairs, I never mispronounce words, I never mess up on grammar, and I never make up words and think they are real words until I go to look in the dictionary. I think that about covers my perfection!
- Angela: This is true! It's kinda scary actually. Until you started making yourself mess up intentionally on a few thing. I could have sworn you were a robot.
- Me: Perfection tends to give that impression.
- Angela: Indeed it does.
- Aunt Darcy: Be careful mixing your social media--I've read the comment--"OMG--did I just put that on Facebook?!!"
- Me: Hahaha :)
- My Mom: Never klutzy, huh? Oh, ok ... right! LOL
- Me: Now mom, you know very well that I don't run into walls, or trip on invisible things. I never have bruises on my shins. ;)
- Angela: Hahaha